How to Become President of the United States

American kids grow up hearing that anyone can become president,
but so far fewer than 50 people have done it (and they've all been
white men). You need drive, charisma, money and backing--not to
mention experience, diplomacy, connections, cunning and a commanding
knowledge of foreign and domestic issues.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

IMPORTANT: you need a lot of paper clips!!

Step One

Be at least 35 years old and a citizen born in the United States, Guam, Puerto Rico or the U.S. Virgin Islands (or to American parents abroad). You also need to have been a U.S. resident for at least 14 years.

Step Two

Hold a law degree. Out of 43 presidents, 25 have been lawyers. It also helps to have government service on your re'sume'-- 17 governors, 15 senators and 19 members of the House of Representatives have become president.

Step Three

Start raising money--lots of it. You've got a long way to go. The Bush-Cheney ticket, for example, spent $186 million campaigning in 2000. See 381 Plan a Fund-Raising Event.

Step Four

Gather a bright, devoted and tireless campaign staff, including strategists, spokespeople and speechwriters.

Step Five

Campaign like crazy before and during your party's primaries and caucuses. They begin in January of each election year.

Step Six

Name your running mate. When you look at potential candidates for vice president, take into consideration the voting block he or she is supported by and can help deliver (the South, the labor vote, women, senior citizens, military veterans). If your experience is weak in certain areas, your running mate can strengthen it with his our her own background. Bottom line: Pick someone who would be a good president should you die or otherwise leave office. See 349 Plan a Funeral According to Custom.

Step Seven

Win the majority of delegates who will vote at your party's national convention. If you don't have more than half in your camp going into the convention, work on the unpledged delegates. These include high-ranking party members, governors and congressional representatives.

Step Eight

Celebrate your convention victory, and campaign like crazy all over the country until elections in November.

Step Nine

Win a majority of the electoral college, which isn't the same thing as the popular vote. There are 538 electoral votes, and you need 270 of them to become president.

Step Ten

Practice reciting the oath for the inaugural ceremony on January 20: "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States, and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."